At uni, friendships were so easy, such a passive part of the experience, that I was in a position to turn social interaction with new people down when I felt like it would encroach on the time I was spending with my current friends. That was arrogant and pretty rude, obviously, but more importantly, I’ve realised it’s something that I couldn’t ever get away with now.
Because now, friendships are harder to form and harder to keep. That’s a noted part of getting older, of course, but it’s also something that’s a little difficult to come to terms with for someone who is so keen to have friends around, and so unwilling to be alone. I’m pretty sure I can count the number of weekends I’ve spent alone in Bath on the fingers of one hand, even after what’s rapidly approaching a full year here.
Which makes it all the more frustrating when you go out to spend that time with someone and it’s not rewarding. A couple of trips to London have proved, if not entirely unpleasant, not things I’m keen to repeat in their entirety, for example, while others have been very nice. On the other side of the coin, my trip to Coventry the other week was lovely; it’s nice to go somewhere and feel as instantly comfortable as I do there, and I’ll miss it when it’s gone in a few weeks’ time.
I feel now that while it’s taken a long time for groups at work to come together, like I am getting there. I’m doing more around work, I’m feeling more comfortable actually asking if people are hanging out. I could very much still benefit from going out and making actual new friends, but there’s still time for that.
There was no real point to this, they’re just thoughts I’ve had bouncing round my head. If nothing else, it’s just a brief reflection on feeling more like I belong win my haphazard groups.